Dads! Let me start off with a serious question. Would you rather endure a 4 hour drive to the beach with two fighting kids, or be kicked in the nuts?
Kick me in the nuts bro. Out of all the horror stories people tell you about parenting, no one tells you about the car rides. I am here to give you a heads up! New Dads! Listen up! If you are taking a considerably long trip via car, and you have kids, its going to suck.
The solo kid isn’t too bad. You will have to make sure they have snacks, entertainment and more entertainment. Make SURE they use the bathroom before you go, and I don’t mean #1. I could care less about that. You don’t want to have to stop and have your kid or kids wall sit on the car tire to unload a #2. This has happened to me numerous times. What cracks me up is how it sneaks up on them. We will literally be 30 min away from our destination, and all of a sudden, I hear shouts of desperation! DAD! I have to DOOP! This happened when my oldest was possibly 2-3 years old. Our location wasn’t exactly near any populated areas either. Fields and fields for miles. So what does a guy from rural Delaware do? I pull over and tactfully hold my son at an angle, where he can drop a #2 without getting it all over my rainbows. My daughter has issues with holding her #1 until she can no longer hold it. She won’t give you a heads up until its literally about to go down. I remember driving back to Delaware and she shouts Dad I have to pee, knowing her, I swerve into the next gas station, only to find that she is soaked, along with her new car seat. C’mon man, why can’t it be like football with a 2 min warning?
What happens when you add one more? Double the chaos. This can be tricky. Depending on your children and how well they get along, you have to strategically plan for the trip. Just like the biblical story of Noah, you have to load the car two by two. Not just with the kids but snacks, Ipads and books. What you bring for one, you have to bring for the other. Let me repeat that, what you bring for one, you have to bring for the other. If this important instruction is ignored, WWIII will ignite and you will be abliderated. If one kid has a pad, you better find the other one. If one kid has a DS, you better pray the other one does. Make checkpoints through out the trip of changes in activities. Whether it be coloring books, reading or gaming. You don’t want them to play electronics or watch a movie the entire way, they will become zombies, and that will just further complicate intended dinners or plans at your destination. If you can carefully plan and execute this mission, you can do anything!
Its crazy to think about how good kids have it in today’s world. I remember our family trips, and if anyone got out of line, you were getting smacked in the head. There were 5 of us, and when we drove to Florida, that trip could last up to 18 hours. I don’t know how my parents did it. You know what, I don’t know how we did. We might have had a Gameboy. Other than that, we had nothing. Wow that blows my mind. We didn’t even have cell phones. What did we do? Big shout out to the old school kids for getting through trips with no electronics.
I am so interested in other techniques used for getting through long car rides. Also when you were a kid, what did you do to occupy yourself? Comment Below.