As I sit here relaxing after a long day, I sip on a Dogfish 60 min. Many nights like tonight, I reflect on fatherhood. I love my children with all my heart and soul. But, there are days when I could throat punch either one of those shitheads. I’m just being honest, and if you are one of those Dads who says, “I never have thought about that,” YOU are lying. Of course, I would never do such an act, but trust me, those kids test me ever day.
Most of you know that I have started a podcast called,” Your Superior Self.” Which is about growing and improving on one’s self. Well, I ‘ve decided to start a blog as well. A blog that helps me grow and learn as a father. A blog that will allow me to vent my frustrations to all the other Dads that feel my struggle. Each week, I will write about honest stories and experiences of fatherhood that have been hilarious, stressful and beautiful.
A little background, I have two kids. Cam and Ava, and their ages are 5 and 8. They are the best kids out there, but they are so different that every discussion turns into a brawl. For example, we used to have a red kids cup that we used for them in the morning for breakfast. One day for no particular reason, I randomly gave one of the kids this cup to use. Holy Shit, the next thing I know WW III breaks out because the other one doesn’t have a red cup. WHat the HELL bro, a red cup? So immediately I run to the cupboard frantically looking for another red cup. No luck! At this point, the boy is screaming, “Daddy Daddy I want the red cup!” Not in a cute cry either. Imagine that part in Dumb and Dumber when LLoyd makes the most annoying sound in the world. Yeah it sounded like that. Anyways, I run downstairs because I know that there are red solo cups in the basement. I search for a while, and finally find them. As I am walking upstairs I hear laughing. I immediately starting thinking WTF. As I enter the room, Cam says, “look Dad christmas colors.” His sister climbed up on the counter proceeded to get her own cup and fill it with orange juice. I swear they do it just to mess with me. Its like a sick game of psychological warfare.
Here is another example of their of psychological warfare. My wife is a Nurse and she works overnight. So I have kid duty in the morning and I am responsible for getting them dressed and getting them ready for school. Also, every morning I have a conference call that I have to be on for work. It starts right around the time that I have to leave to take them to school. So one morning I was running late, and I instructed my son to go upstairs to brush his teeth and get dressed. Well about 15 minutes later, he comes downstairs and starts getting his shoes on. At this point we are pushing the limits of being on-time and for anyone who knows me, knows I hate being late. So I’m not really paying attention to him, rather just shouting commands. Well as I am setting the alarm and getting ready to lock the door, I notice something about him that isn’t right. Tell me why his entire outfit was on backwards. His ENTIRE outfit. Yes, his shirt was inside out and backwards, with the tags hanging out. His pants were turned around like Kriss Kross. At this point, I just start laughing hysterical. You got me bud. I give up. I love you.
I can’t be the only one who goes through these crazy situations. Comment and share your crazy ass stories.